God's Love Is REAL

This past week my son attended vacation bible school and each night when I picked him up he couldn't wait to tell me what he had learned. He would go through whatever hand and arm motions they used when talking about the lesson and it was cute to see him be so passionate about sharing what he learned about God. Before going to bed each night he would reassure me that God loves us no matter what. 

Here's where the story gets interesting........

Wednesday evening Granny picked Ramsay up from school , fed him dinner, and dropped him off at VBS. During a phone conversation with Granny after she dropped him off I learned that he had an issue at school that day. Let me back up a bit and just say that this kid LOVES to swing. He swings all the time when he's at school as they go to the park twice a day, weather permitting of course. He loves swinging so much that I made him a tree swing for our backyard so that he can swing anytime he wants to. He's obsessed with swinging and usually has baby with him as well which means baby gets to swing too. (Note the bungee cord wrapped around baby's neck in order to keep him on the swing.)

During their morning park time Ramsay of course wanted to swing, but there was a problem. There was a girl in the swing he wanted. Instead of being patient and waiting his turn he pushed her out of the swing. Like literally pushed her hard and she fell to the ground. He then hopped in the swing thinking he was just going to swing like nothing happened. Boy was he wrong! A teacher asked him to get off the swing because the girl had it first. When he didn't listen it then took two teachers to get him out of that swing as he gripped the chain hard and wasn't about to let go. They finally got him free, made him apologize to the little girl, put him in a time out, and banned him from swinging for the rest of the day. Now, I know my kid is not perfect by any means but behavior like this is really out of character for him. He was obviously frustrated but didn't chose a wise way to deal with it.

Later that night when he got home from VBS I asked him about his day, knowing what had happened at school (but he didn't know that I knew). He said he had a good day. I question him about that and he said he had a good day except for that 'one thing'. So, I asked him what that one thing was and he said that some girl was in HIS swing and he wanted to swing so he pushed her out. I asked him if that was a good choice and he said no, it wasn't, but he wanted to swing. I'm trying my best to raise a man in my house the best way I know how and I always tell him ladies first........that means opening doors for them, letting the girls go down the slide before him and yes, that also means letting girls swing on a swing before him. Patience my child, patience! We continued on with our conversation about good choices and bad choices and I told him that he needed to apologize to his teachers for his behavior first thing the next morning and he agreed that he would do so (and he did). 

Just when I thought we had talked about the situation and got it taken care of, Ramsay then says "But mommy, God loves me anyways even with that bad choice." Oh boy.........it was as if he was justifying (in his sweet little head) that what he did was bad but God still loved him so it was okay. Well sweet child, you are correct in that God still loves you BUT God wants us all to make good choices.

Every day I continue to learn and grow in my relationship with God and some of the best lessons I have learned have come from that 5 year old of mine. He takes everything so literal and sometimes just doesn't understand that there's a deeper meaning. He teaches me new things every day just like I teach him new things every day. Together we are learning and living a life that focuses on God and his unconditional love for us. God's love IS incredible. God's love IS faithful. God's love IS invincible. God's love IS unconditional. God's love IS REAL!

God's Love Is Faithful

We were in the car yesterday morning on our way to school and work when all of a sudden out of the backseat my sweet boy says to me "Mommy, do you know what I want to be when I grow up? I want to be a daddy." This made me smile and I then asked him how many kids he wanted and he proceeds to tell me he wants ten. "Ten kids? That's a lot" I said to him. His response was priceless, "No mommy, 100 is a lot". In this sweet, tender moment with my 5 1/2 year old my heart was full and happy. I know that he loves babies but never dreamed he would say he wanted to have ten kids!

Moments after that sweet interaction our conversation took a turn that I wasn't prepared for. What came out of his sweet, innocent mouth I was not expecting.

"Mommy, when I become a daddy I'm going to go in a big boy time out."

{Insert my jaw drop here........and my head started spinning as to how I should respond to this.} So, I start asking questions.

"Why do you think you'll go to a big boy time out?"

"Because my daddy is in a big boy time out and that's what daddy's do."

Oh. My. Goodness. My heart was broken in that very moment. As much as I have tried to do my very best at providing for him, loving him, and showing him what a parent does, all his little mind knows is that daddy is not around and that when he's a daddy he's supposed to do the same thing. So I continued our conversation in the hopes that I would say the right words to ease his mind and make him think differently.

"Well honey, why is daddy in a big boy time out?"

"Because he made bad choices."

"Right. He made bad choices. When we make bad choices there are consequences. Mommy's job is to help you make good choices. I'm also pretty certain that daddy would tell you that he wants you to make good choices so that you don't end up in a big boy time out. They aren't any fun and if you were to go there, your ten kids would miss you very much."

"You're right mommy, I think my kids would miss me and I would miss them."

"So let's work together on making good choices. Okay?"

"Okay mommy."

Phew.........made it through that tough conversation.

Here's our truth: his daddy is in a big boy time out for making bad choices. He's been there for two years. That's his daddy's story to share with him when the time comes. It's not my story to share with anyone, not even Ramsay. But his dad's story does intertwine with our stories. That's our truth.

Ramsay is participating in a VBS (vacation bible school) program this week that started Sunday evening. When I went to pick him up Sunday the first thing out of his mouth was "Do you know what we learned mommy? God's love is incredible!" I love his heart for Jesus and his passion for learning more. Last night when I picked him up the first thing out of his mouth again was "Mommy, do you know what we learned? God's love is faithful!" I love his enthusiasm he has at the end of the night when I pick him up. This kid loves learning and especially loves learning about God. All things are possible with God!

This morning as I was getting ready for work Ramsay climbed into my bed to hang out and chat. What he says to me was so wise beyond his years. "Mommy, God's love is faithful. He loves us no matter what, whether we make good choices or bad choices." And there is it. I needed to be reminded of this today. God loves us no matter what, even if we make bad choices. Does he want us to make bad choices? No. Will he love us even if we do? Absolutely!

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all righteousness.

1 John 1:9

Your love, LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.

Psalms 36:5

God loves us all. God loves Ramsay. God loves me. God loves Ramsay's dad. God loves you! God loves us all regardless of the choices that we make. God's love is INCREDIBLE. God's loves is FAITHFUL!

All I Want

The weather at the beginning of last week was so beautiful. The temperature was just right making it impossible not to be outside doing something fun every evening after work. We spent one entire evening outside working on building a tree swing and flying kites. It was a perfect night. The temperature was right, the wind was just right, and the attitudes were just right. So much fun was had by the two of us!

I had the realization that night that it won't always be this way. Things aren't always perfect and the world we live in is far from perfect. I won't always be able to spend time with my boy like we did that night and I won't always be able to protect him from the imperfections that are all around us. We are all broken in one way or another and we all show our brokenness in different ways.

Last weekend 50 men and women lost their lives in a senseless tragedy. Our world is not perfect. We are all flawed in ways that others can not see but God can heal us. God can restore us. God can save me and God can save you. Some hearts have become angry and bitter and instead of seeking to heal their hearts through God they take it upon themselves to heal their hearts the way they feel is right, which is at others expense. I'm sad to be raising a child in the world as we know it today but I do my best to teach him God's love and God's way. I also teach him to pray for others in our world that may not know God and who can come to know Him and His love for all of us. I pray for a world of understanding, compassion, respect and love.

Vacation........What's That?

I was driving home from work today and my head was spinning. So many things going on in our lives at the moment and in the next couple months it's going to get even crazier. My boy will be starting kindergarten in August which is going to be a big change for him and although I'm excited for him, it's still a lot for this mama to wrap around her head. How did he get this old? Other changes are happening that well which aren't as exciting as starting kindergarten but I'm doing my best to be ahead of those changes and prepare my boy in any way that I can. While driving home it hit me....we need a vacation. Like a REAL vacation. Not just an overnight trip somewhere for the heck of it and not to my son's favorite theme park of all time (and let's face it, that's not a vacation for me at all but a lot of work).

I have not had a 'real' vacation since September/October of 2009. That was before I even got pregnant! That was the best vacation I ever had. I traveled alone to Colorado and spent a couple days with family but then spent the remainder of my vacation alone. All. By. Myself. I did so many things by myself it was amazing. If I was late somewhere I had no one to blame but myself.

Reality is......no vacation in sight, not a real one anyways. I would love to go to Colorado to see family or to the beach where we can be beach bums all day long. Instead, we'll be doing the same old thing we've been doing which is working and daycare. Sounds exciting doesn't it? Someday..........someday we'll get that real vacation. Someday when I have a partner to share the load with we'll get a lot of things but until then, we'll just dream about a real vacation in our dreams.

'Mommy, it's your gradulation day!'

"Wake up buddy. It's time to get up, we have a busy day ahead of us!" "Mommy, it's your gradulation day!" Cutest thing I've heard him say in a long time........gradulation. He doesn't know it but he took congratulation and graduation and made up his own word, gradulation. I couldn't get enough of him saying that word all day long. He makes me smile.

Yesterday was a day that has been years in the making, literally. It was exactly five years ago to the day that I crossed the stage at my community college graduation and yesterday was the day I crossed the stage and earned my bachelors degree. So crazy that it finally happened, I finally made. I never thought this day would come. So many hurdles, ups & downs, challenges.......you name it. But I made it, I did it, and my boy was there to see me! I had to make sure he could spot me in the crowd of 1,106 graduates at the ceremony so I decorated my cap with something that's very fitting for him right now. I was Spider-Mom!

 Our day started out with a brunch for all the online graduates which ended up being a lot of fun. Even my boy got his own goodie bag filled with crayons and coloring pages. He was excited that he got a gift! After brunch we had a couple hours of down time before the ceremony so we rested of course as we knew the ceremony was going to be long, which it was! I managed to stick it out to the end, even though lots of other graduates left after they walked across the stage. It was a great day, it really was, and I'm very thankful and glad that I decided to walk. After all those years of work, I needed to do it and I wanted my boy to see my do it and know that you can do whatever you put your mind to, not matter how old you are!

Jesus Is There........Do You See Him?

Jesus is in this picture.......do you see him? He's sitting at the table there on the bottom right, next to the lady in blue. He's also sitting at the table in the very middle of the room as well. And wait, there I see him at the far left table as well. Do you see him?

This was lunch on Saturday at a single mom event at my church. The moms spent the morning being loved on with breakfast, hair cuts, massages, facials, make & take items, and a FREE garage sale area or Abundant Blessings as we called it. You should have seen that place. IT.WAS.AWESOME! Do you know what my favorite part about the entire morning was? Okay, I have two favorite parts of the morning. One of my favorite parts was the prayer room. Every single time I walked by that room there were women in there. They were opening their hearts to these complete strangers who were there to pray with them, for them, and over them. It was truly amazing to see! I have goosebumps now just writing about it. It was such an amazing site to see. My other favorite part of the event was this lunch. After all the fun stuff ended the moms got to sit down with one another (and a volunteer table host) to have a delicious lunch and connect with each other. Do you know who showed up that day throughout the morning and again at lunch? Jesus! Man was he ever present in the building that day. I can't even put into words to try and explain how present he was that day. It was spectacular, amazing, glorious, and so much more! I loved every minute of that morning. All the hard work, the physical labor, the planning.......every part of it was more than worth it for Jesus to show up and he did!

Lunch from a different view.

We incorporated coloring place mats on the tables so the moms could sit, relax, and color in between  the fun things they were doing and the moms really seemed to enjoy that!

I loved the way the room looked. Elegant and classy!

Here it is.........the Abundant Blessings area. This picture doesn't even do the room justice. It was packed full of so much stuff!

Centerpieces

Breakfast - which also included a yogurt bar.

Blessing the Blessing Bags

I stood in my kitchen last night looking at these bags and I was overcome with so much emotion. The only thing I knew to do was pray. Pray for each of the mamas that will be receiving one of these on Saturday. Pray for them and their children. Pray for the team of volunteers that will be there to help make this possible. But most of all I prayed that God will meet each and every one of these ladies right where they are when they walk in the door on Saturday morning and that they see Jesus wherever they look and that they feel Jesus with every conversation they have. I pray He is with them.

Saturday has been a long time coming. Close to a year as a matter of fact, for me that is. I've had the privilege of attending a Single Moms' Morning Out event twice in the past four years and God tugged on my heart that very first time about doing something similar through my church and again last year when I attended the same event for a second time. It was time. I knew God was calling me to do this, even after that first initial tug, but timing wasn't always right. Being a single mom, working full time, and going to school part time didn't leave me much time to do anything else.......let alone plan this type of event. And if I'm completely honest I thought God was a little crazy for asking me to do this. I mean really, I love to plan birthday parties for my son, but a big event like this? He must be nuts to think I could pull it off. In reality, it was fear that was holding me back. Fear I would fail, fear the event would fail, and fear that God would be disappointed. Boy, was I ever wrong!

After attending this event last year I finally said YES to God. I knew I would be completing my degree in December which would then allow me time to plan for this. Saturday will be the first Single Moms' Morning Out event at my church and I am beyond excited for it! These ladies are getting a fun morning full of car washes, breakfast, massages, hair cuts, facials, make & take goodies, intentional praying for them, a boutique area where they can shop for free, and a wonderful buffet style lunch that is mom's only where they can connect with other single moms in the community. The event will also provide childcare for the moms while they attend. How amazing is that! The best part is that the entire event is absolutely free for these moms. What a blessing in itself!

As I started preparing for this event I wanted the Blessing Bags (shown above) to be filled with intentional items. Items that were fun, or necessary, or a reminder that they are loved, or something to encourage them along this journey they are on. I'm amazed by what all is inside of them. So many great things and so many wonderful people and businesses willing to donate items for them. I pray that each and every mom attending this event feels the love that each bag holds for them. I know first hand the struggle of being a single mom and I also know that one kind gesture can make a big difference in their lives. More than anything though, I want them to know they are not alone. God is always with them!